The Christmas Cake
by olin
Summary: It's Christmas time, and Hanzo is dead-set on his traditional Xmas Cake. To his misery, so is Sombra. Oneshot Hanzo x Sombra


_Maybe two cakes this year… one to take home, and the other one, hmm, for a snack._

He caught his reflection smiling in the shop window, and quickly adjusted his features.  
Bah, smiling like a child at forty… but then again, even if his beard slowly turned gray and the wrinkles around his eyes got deeper and more unyielding, he just couldn't help it.

It was Christmas, and that meant Christmas cake. But alas, his work took him to cold and wet England with no chance to return to Japan in time. Hence he already knew he would completely miss out on the sweet strawberry Christmas cakes of his hometown.

But all did not seem to be lost: it started snowing in King's Row just that morning, and successfully sought out what everyone claimed to be the best confectionery in the whole of Britain; a small, old family business that was neatly located in a tucked away, ancient cobblestone street.

He swallowed as he regarded the skillfully photographed piece of cake in the shop's window. Filled between the layers with gingerbread and toffee nut cream, topped of with small gingerbread-men and sugared almonds... The sign said it was Britain's number 1 favourite Christmas cake - the Christmas Eve Dream.

Yes, it will definitely do, he thought, gleaming, and stepped into the small store...

… just to find it overly, ridiculously, insanely crowded.

There was an omnic at the cashier, trying to calm down all the customers who were almost throwing their money at him; and explaining to them that all products come in highly limited quantities, as they are specially handmade.

Hanzo frowned. He had to work for weeks in this god-forsaken country, and now it is impossible to get a plane back to Japan, unless he charters a private jet, and he always hated making a fuss like that (even though he had more than enough money for it). So he will have to spend the holidays here, and fly home in a week. By this time the archer had a couple of rough weeks already, and was absolutely not willing to make any more sacrifices.

He skillfully stretched a leg and knocked over at least six people, then gracefully jumped over them; after he quickly hit a big tough-looking wannabe-customer in the back of the head; and to top it off also tugged on a few women's bags here and there, so in a few seconds everyone was yelling with someone else, and he could step directly to the counter. And there it was, one last, beautiful Christmas Eve Dream, beckoning him deliciously.

But before he could open his mouth, a guy on his left suddenly collapsed, and a young woman jumped over to the cashier with a huge grin on her face.

'I would like that Christmas Eve Dream, por favor' she chattered, green eyes sparkling with joy. Hanzo had to regard her for a moment, because something about her was simply odd. She had an undercut on the left side of her head, complete with green cable augmentations. That explained the unusual eye color, but he could have sworn there was some blackmarket tech in that woman.

Apart from that, everything about her screamed Christmas, from the red-tinted end of her locks to her red and gold flashy jacket to her candy-cane-like stockings.

But why the heck is he staring at this strange woman, when she is about to snatch away the only Christmas luxury he is about to get?!

'Excuse me' he said, bumping into her in an intimidating way 'That is my cake.'

She glanced at her annoyed, then her expression turned into surprise. Hanzo held her gaze with a straight face, but felt rather uncomfortable inside.

'I'm sorry, but I am not sharing… not even with a 10/10 like you' the woman then said with a smug smile, and turned back to the omnic.

' _I_ would like to pay!' Hanzo yelled at the cashier, and wondered what the hell a _10/10_ meant. Did she mean his sharpshooting skills, or…? But it really did not matter. He reached into his pocket and was prepared to throw as much money at the robot as necessary, just to get out of this stupid situation.

But suddenly the lady raised an arm and started typing away at something that looked like a purple holographic keyboard. And in the next second, the cashier shuddered, and turned to her, taking the cake and putting it in a neat little box.

'Yes Madam' it said 'Here you go Madam. It is of course on the house.'

'How sweet' the woman smiled sweetly and took the package 'Feliz Navidad!' she waved at them, and skipped towards the exit before the angry mob would realize what happened.

Hanzo's eye twitched. And then it twitched again.

And then he clenched his fists and bolted after the woman.

Thick white flakes were steadily falling from the dark night sky, and the small street was rather crowded with all the shoppers and their boxes and bags full of presents. But he could easily spot that ridiculously flashy red and gold coat skipping along the road; he dashed after her and grabbed her by the wrist, not interested in pleasantries anymore.

'You have something that is mine' he said sternly to the woman, who turned around surprised, but then wrinkled her nose with annoyance.

'That is the worst pickup line I have ever had, amigo' she said with a thick Spanish accent, and jerked her hand out from his grasp.

'I meant the cake' he said dead-serious.

The woman paused for a moment, mouth open, then, in the next second she broke out in laughter.

'Qué?' she asked between two bursts of laughter 'Oh Dios, you for real?'

Hanzo wasn't amused.

'Hand it over, I can pay you whatever you want.'

'Nope. I was waiting months for this' she said, still smiling cheekily, and turned away to continue down the road, but Hanzo put a hand firmly on her shoulder.

'I am serious, lady.'

'So am I, Mr Shimada' she said in a sudden cold tone, and Hanzo couldn't hide his shock that she knew him. The strange woman stopped and partially turned back, looking him up and down 'Come on, Hanzo, don't be so shocked. I should be the one surprised, my sources always said you were a precocious, boring guy, and now that we meet by chance it turns out that you actually have a sense of fashion.'

'H-how…' he growled, but couldn't finish - the Latina was raising a finger and chk-chk-chk'ed gently.

'A magician never reveals her secrets' she winked 'But let it be enough that I work in similar field as you.'

That unfortunately made sense. In the field of spying and assassination, you could never be sure how far your reputation stretched.

'But you know what' she then continued 'Since it's Christmas, I could go and forget what a naughty boy you were all year…' and her eyes twinkled as she looked him up and down again, a sly smile stretching across her face 'If you catch me, you might get this cake.'

And then, she suddenly vanished.

Hanzo thought he would explode with anger and clenched his fists . Where the hell did the woman disappear to?

Ahead of him, people were randomly tripping over and screaming as if… as if something invisible was pushing them out of the way… or someone!

He sprinted in the direction of the assaulted people. After only a few seconds something flickered in front of him, and the woman appeared from thin air.

 _Thermoptic camouflge_ \- he thought. He heard about it, but someone randomly using it on the streets of King's Row… This woman wasn't a low-tier cutthroat. Who knows how long she was tracking him? This seemed to be about much more than the cake…

Still - actually right now he only cared about the cake.

To hell with the rest.

* * *

 _To hell with everybody_ \- Sombra thought to herself, throwing her translocator into a window on a second floor of a nearby house. She just wanted to have some goddamn Christmas cake, and didn't even have an agenda with the Shimada guy.

Sure, she knew about him, but had no idea he would be here. She should have been on a mission with Widow, but bailed on her in Paris and came to King's Row instead. She heard so much about the annual Christmas Eve Dream cake, she had to try it after such a tiresome year… a girl deserves so much, at least!

And then, seeing the Shimada dude right there… it took her a moment to recognize him, since he seemed… older but also kinda… well, WAY more good looking than she remembered.

And those nice leather gloves he was wearing, mmm… she could imagine the two of them, just chilling in front a fireplace, him grabbing her with the gloves still on…

She shivered delightedly as she was jumping out of another window onto the top of the adjacent building and let out a wide grin.

But at that moment an arrow whizzed past her, destroying her semi-erotic Christmas daydreams.

'Ah, snipers' she sniffed resentfully, and activated the camo once again to gain some advantage on the Japanese man who was intently following her. She threw another traslocator up to a balcony, and flashed through space, wondering if all this messing with particles affected the legendary cake in her hand.

But there was no time to think because he heard him shout 'I see you!' from behind, so she quickly started running up the stairs inside of the building. On the top there was a door; she forced it open with her shoulders, and ran out to the roof.

The building she was on was quite a bit taller than the ones around it, and she wasn't even sure if she could throw another translocator in the right angle. Admittedly, it was not really fitting with the holiday mood if she broke her neck when she was translocating... But that could only mean that she was stuck up here with the archer!

He arrived just a minute later, heavily panting, and stopping for a moment in the doorway, with the promise of victory glinting in his eyes.

The bustle of the town seemed far away as the soft, cold snow was falling on the two of them. Sombra took a few steps back towards the edge of the building, the soft, fresh snow crunching below her feet.

'I caught you' he said, still a bit out of breath.

'So, what are you going to do, shoot me?' she asked cheekily, and quickly looked to the side to see if there are any viable escape routes.

'Not exactly' she heard him say, and in the next moment a big snowball hit her right in the face. She staggered and slipped, falling down from the edge of the building.

 _This Christmas sucks_ \- she thought as she was frantically searching for a translocator in her pocket with her only free hand, but in a split second she saw Hanzo dive off the building, his bow in one hand, and the other stretched out towards her.

Sombra reached out to him in a panic, and he grabbed her hand, suddenly jerking her close to him and wrapping his arm around her.

 _Thanks Santa, at least I die in the arms of a total hottie_ \- Sombra snickered to herself, but then Hanzo swinged his other arm with the bow in it, and got it tangled up in the Christmas strings that were hung between the buildings. Their fall slowed down as the wires stretched and then, finally, they stopped for a moment.

She looked up at him, he looked down at her as they were tangled up in the colorful, warm lights.

It was disgustingly cheesy.

Thankfully, in the next moment, the strings decided they cannot take their combined weight anymore, and they fell down into a huge heap of snow in a small alley.

Sombra emerged from the white stuff gasping, and as soon as she got her oxygen, she raised her arm with the box in it with a grunt, holding it up way above her head as if it was a sacred treasure.

She heard faint snickering next to her, and Hanzo emerged from the snow after a minute, looking rather amused.

'You are very annoying' he said it as if it was a compliment and the latina grimaced as a reply.

They both got out of the huge heap, taking a few minutes to try to remove all of the snow from their clothes and hair.

'Well, I guess you got me for real' Sombra said clearly not amused, but held out the battered box towards him 'So here, Merry Christmas, whatever.'

Hanzo took the box a bit suspiciously, and carefully opened it.

The white and brown mush inside did not in the slightest resemble the cake it has been twenty minutes ago. He let out a big sigh and glanced up. The woman stood there, looking at him expectantly. Her impossibly colored eyes were even outshining all the stupid lights that they tore down.

Suddenly he took the box in one palm, stepped close to her, and gently took her hand. Sombra's eyes gazed at her expectantly. And then he smashed the cake in her face.

'Carajo!' she gasped and then started laughing uncontrollably. She threw the remains of the box to the side and started wiping her eyes clean from the sweet substance 'I guess I deserved tha-'

But she couldn't finish because he hugged her tight with one arm, and pressed his lips against hers. His breath, face, lips were warm, oh so warm after the snow… And his beard was so prickly and so nice, that she completely melted into the cake-flavored kiss.

'Hmm' he said after drawing back, and gently licked some mush from her cheek 'I didn't think it would taste so good.'

For once, she stood there, lips slightly parted, and couldn't think about any cheeky reply.

He wiped his face clean, took up his bow and turned back towards her.

'Don't ever cross me like that again.'

She grinned, still wiping the late cake from her face, her eyes gleaming with a childish joy at this unexpected present from good old Santa.

'Oh my, after this, you bet I will. Feliz Navidad, lindo.'

'Merii Kurismasu' he said with a slight smile, and disappeared around the corner.

END

* * *

If I got you hooked on Hanzo x Sombra, please check out my other fic about them (unrelated to this one) - Of Shadows and Dragons. :)


End file.
